How to Support Someone Who’s Grieving: The 3 L’s (Listen, Love, and Linguini)

Supporting someone in grief doesn’t require the perfect words, it requires presence. In this video, Dr. Sarah Hoggan shares a simple, human “mini instruction book” for showing up in a way that actually helps. You’ll learn how to emotionally meet someone where they are, what to say when nothing feels “right,” and how small acts of care (yes, including food) can make grief feel less isolating.

Key takeaways:

• Show up first. Doing something imperfect is better than doing nothing out of fear.
• Match their emotional tone. Soft voice, soft steps, real empathy. Don’t force “normal.”
• Use the 3 L’s:

What not to do:

• Skip platitudes (“she was old,” “he had a good life”). Say something real instead.
• Don’t pack up reminders (bowls/toys) unless they ask.
• Don’t put the burden on them with “What can I do?” Offer a plan: “I’ll check in again.”

How to check in later: a card, text, email, flowers, a donation in their pet’s honor, or another visit.